Why Me?

At thirty-five, in a moment that I will never forget, I broke all connection with the safe harbor of my faith.  I can honestly tell you that, with that departure, I went all the way to the opposite extreme.  I became unsure that there was a God, I walked away from my family, I embraced the most liberal of world views. I favored and encouraged adultery, abortion, homosexuality, or any other activity that might be either convenient or pleasurable.  It mattered not who was hurt, or what the cost.  Years later, I felt a need to reconnect with my roots … it was then that I began to develop a “designer religion”.

In the case of a designer religion, one makes up his own version of Christianity.  In mine, I allowed myself “indulgences.” I accepted and approved of activities that I should not have been doing. I even went so far as to excuse those things as being gifts from God.  I thanked Him for activities and relationships that were inappropriate. The whole concept was kept afloat by circular reasoning. During that period, I believe now that God was tolerating me.  I also believe that He looked out for me; knowing that He would ultimately have some use for me. He kept me.  Sadly, this short paragraph encompasses thirty years of my life.

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