In From the Cold …
Sometime, circa 1970, I was involved in the founding of a brand new church. At the outset, it consisted of just seven families … enthusiasm ran high. I was in my late twenties …
With so few congregants, everyone had responsibility. I was a bus captain. On Saturday, I knocked on every door in two different neighborhoods and, on Sunday morning, I loaded a bus with kids. I played my trombone along with the congregational singing … and made friends like Joe Zulo, who also played the trombone … Joe was much better than me.
Later, I was the treasurer … Paying the rent and writing the pastor’s paycheck …
Everyone was important then … and … the pastor greeted each of us with a vigorous handshake … and … he always called me “Brother Sam!”
If you liken that church to an atom, we were the nucleus … a tightly bound core … we were the heat and the gravity that held the church together …
Somewhere along the line … and for various reasons … bonds weakened and, after a while, we moved on to another church … where … we were quickly assimilated. It wasn’t long until we were, once again, to use the atom analogy, drifting toward the nucleus … I would say we ended up in maybe the fourth or fifth valence ring. There was decidedly less heat, and the bonds were less tight … things happened that should not have happened … inside the church … or out.
It was a slow walk but, as a family, I allowed us to simply … fade away. It was a familial disaster … the world can blind you … and … somehow I didn’t notice the drift …
How then, did the next forty plus years unfold? Divorce … kids that grew up in the world, instead of in church. And, as a family, the guy who was supposed to be the captain had walked away from the helm, jointly our compass was spinning.
Later … when my morals were scraping the very bottom … I met a girl (much younger) and I felt bad for her … because … her life was just as messed up as mine. That’s strange, isn’t it? But you know what? For some reason, I was still on God’s radar. He knew what could not be fixed and He knew very well what could.
So … that girl and I fell slowly into a relationship. It took forty years … and a wedding … and a little house that we filled with rescue animals … then a bigger house that we built with rescuing animals in mind. And … at times … we saw the hand of God … but it was subtle.
Somewhere … after wasting all those years … a church is picked off the computer screen and we attend. It sticks … we like the pastor … and slowly … we are reacquainted with the Savior.
Inside me, something kicks in … a desire to serve … but … I am not part of the founding party … I am not “Brother Sam,” and I am not prepared.
There are other things that have gone missing too. I am now seventy-five … by everyone’s reckoning, an old man … I am short on energy … and anyway, all the existing ministries have been wrapped up by the regulars … maybe some, by members of the founding party … I know how that works.
We simply must do something … so, we start our own mission program … this website, a part of it … and, for three years now, our little “one family mission program” has proved rewarding … in fact, it has thrived.
Like many older people, I decided that perhaps prayer was my mission. It was there that I met Satan head-to-head … Satan doesn’t like prayer. I struggled with doubt (God allowed it) and I recovered with a grasp on Apologetics (and, a fledgling insight into the Bible).
But still … there is no mission for an old man … I fret. Where are those most encouraging words “Brother Sam?”
A stray cat brings us in contact with another congregation … we see evangelism and community … things that aren’t happening in “our” church (in all fairness, I am sure there was community there but, in three years, we did not manage to find it).
In these new acquaintances, I begin to see traces of that upstart church … forty years prior. I envision bonds … I envision heat …
The pastor at “our” church retires and the “atmosphere” changes …
One Sunday morning we are dressed and ready, but we are running late. We can make it to this “new church” … if we leave right now …
Meanwhile, I propose to the new-hire minister at the “old church” that we establish an “evangelism team.” Folks to stand by, at the ready, should someone be moved to follow Jesus … can you believe it, I was turned down … I was assured that it was “already covered” … but it wasn’t … and the die was cast.
We began to attend the “new church” regularly … as regularly as we could. With thirty-six animals … we are … for all intents and purposes … farmers. Another mission … and there’s no end in sight.
I am watching the nucleus. The folks in the heat … the ones with strong bonds … they have spent the past forty years preparing … not compromising. The first five valence rings contain ushers, nursery workers, the bus and security ministries … not to mention a literal army of adult volunteers that show up when it’s time for Vacation Bible School … Those first few rings … where the heat is.
I continue to fret … I’m not sure why.
By this time, however, our animal sanctuary is employing kids from this “new” church … and when they visit, we frequently consider some spiritual idea … and the lady that helps keep our house in order … is from this “new church” too.
We begin to call it “our church” …
Finally … on 11 October 2022 … some long elusive concept condenses to understanding …. Yes, we are back. And … I am old now and suffering from lack of energy. I couldn’t hack it, even if there were an opportunity much closer the fire.
Here’s the crux of what I have discovered: I left the church, having known the tight bonds of the nucleus … and the heat that warms the close-in electrons. I am back a different person. I wasn’t here from the founding … I am still ill prepared …my energy is flagging, and my time is divided … not to mention (my time is) running out.
What then is the hope? Let’s stick with the atom analogy …
When you return to Christianity, most of us are destined to land in a higher … and admittedly …colder orbit. Let’s say somewhere out near the 13th valence ring.
That results strictly from a lack of human resource … our own. You simply aren’t equipped to align with any other locality. Initially your brain doesn’t know that … but it is absolute.
Is that bad?
Well, no … and that’s another part of the 11 October 2022 discovery …
It may (actually) be a privilege to inhabit the 13th valence ring … and I am sure that you are asking, “why?”
Because, as hobbled as my efforts might be, I am legitimately seeking God’s way and His desire these days. I’ve spent time grinding out a personal understanding of Christianity … as a continuum … from creation, all the way to the “new earth.” I have a thin grasp on apologetics … in a word, I am probably as prepared as anyone with my background can be. I possess the minimum facts that are required to explain the awesome significance of Jesus.
How can that happen “way out here?”
Well … that’s easy … many who will show up … and attach themselves this far from the nucleus … are very much in need. They didn’t have my good start … with strong bonds … down close to the heat. They are here out of curiosity, or desperation, or because my church reminds them of the church that they attended “back in Kentucky.”
I will watch for them. I will patrol for them. I will shake their hand … and ask their name. I might also ask, “Are you allergic to cats” … “Oh, you like them!” I will use all the assets at my disposal to engage the lost … these potential “one-timers,” who might just pop out of “our“13th valence ring and combine with some other atom before next Sunday …
But I do have one request … please shake my hand and call me “Brother Sam.”